B is for Be
Remember the person you wanted to be?
Its still happening now, and its easy to see
Young boys trying to be their older brothers
Young girls following in the footsteps of mothers
Following the line between imitation and inspiration
Put high on a pedestal surrounded by expectation
Whether they are famous, friends, or related
The influence they have is understated
When I was younger I wanted to be an Australian Vet
Or in other words Rolf Harris, im not quite over that yet
Its strange how one can be inspired by a complete stranger
Could be worse, my brother wanted to be a power ranger
Weather its because they have more strength, years, or wealth
Its something you grow out of as you become yourself
And when you have made your own path, here’s a hint
Look around for those standing in your footprint.
Lucy Dulieu -x-
Sunday 29 November 2009
Accumulation.
Accumulation.
A want to be the highest, this want to be the best
a want to have the most, this want to beat the rest
“want” may be an understatement, more a need, a yearn
Is it something that were born with, or something that we learn?
Numbers judge us from birth, “how much did he weigh?”
To being judged on pointless things like the infamous sports day
Who won the egg and spoon race, and how many points is it worth?
Everyone so excited like these points can buy the earth
Later it gets nasty, the losers become the thick
As the capitalist carrot is replaced with the stick
Its still a competition, but the fun side starts to fade
Your futures at stake now, so you’d better get the grade.
If you fail this test you will fall into a deep dark hole
But the higher the grades the more you have control
And If you stray from the aim then there’s a correction
Either that or your weeded out, its like social selection
So we gather the points, but what’s it all been for?
The answer is simple, so that we can get more
So we can keep adding up, and its not just cash
Lovers, friends, pets and cars all get added to the stash
Rushing though life, smooth, quick, nimble
The friends that seem close, just a status symbol
Then a day comes and we realise through all the fears
The only thing we will accumulate for certain, is the years.
Then what do you think back on, your full size roman bath?
No, you think of all the people who have made you laugh.
By Lucy Dulieu. -x-
A want to be the highest, this want to be the best
a want to have the most, this want to beat the rest
“want” may be an understatement, more a need, a yearn
Is it something that were born with, or something that we learn?
Numbers judge us from birth, “how much did he weigh?”
To being judged on pointless things like the infamous sports day
Who won the egg and spoon race, and how many points is it worth?
Everyone so excited like these points can buy the earth
Later it gets nasty, the losers become the thick
As the capitalist carrot is replaced with the stick
Its still a competition, but the fun side starts to fade
Your futures at stake now, so you’d better get the grade.
If you fail this test you will fall into a deep dark hole
But the higher the grades the more you have control
And If you stray from the aim then there’s a correction
Either that or your weeded out, its like social selection
So we gather the points, but what’s it all been for?
The answer is simple, so that we can get more
So we can keep adding up, and its not just cash
Lovers, friends, pets and cars all get added to the stash
Rushing though life, smooth, quick, nimble
The friends that seem close, just a status symbol
Then a day comes and we realise through all the fears
The only thing we will accumulate for certain, is the years.
Then what do you think back on, your full size roman bath?
No, you think of all the people who have made you laugh.
By Lucy Dulieu. -x-
Friday 17 April 2009
VERY random rambling (quite odd)
Ok so im going to try and get random stuff from my head down onto this blog as a kind of diary type thing. But its going to be a bit jumbled as are my thoughts.
Ok so the other day I was meant to meet a friend on the Tuesday and I woke up in the morning walked to Battersea park where we were meeting and sat there waiting for a bit, until I looked at my phone and realized that it was in fact Monday, yup that’s right I was a day early.
So what did I do? Well I could have walked home again but I felt like that would be yet another waste of a day so instead stayed in the park and walked around then sat on a bench, It was a nice quiet spot and I thought I should do some thinking to bring the random crap that’s in my head out to think about as I thought it would help, not that I need help, like I know that I think of stuff and then all the crap gets shoved to the back of my head and I get on with life and that’s working fine for me, I guess it makes me a bit numb when it comes to actual emotions but that’s fine for now. But anyways I get the idea in my head that certain things need to be thought about and a kind of solution thought of for some things, and a sort of life plan put in place at least for the next 5 years, as other people have these and it seemed “healthy” at the time.
So there I am, in the park on the bench on my own like some kind of deranged pigeon lady whose pigeons had found something better to do, trying and failing to think of things I know are in my head.
So my brain is this metaphorical cupboard filled to the top with things that have been thrown in over the years to the point that its all jammed in and I cant get them out, so I decide that its fine where it is, I go buy an ice cream and go home.
I know sometimes everyone has strange thoughts but the other day my own thought annoyed me, Im sitting on the bus going somewhere, sitting by the window near the front and the seat next to me is free the bus stops, the doors open, and about 5 people get on and I silently think: please don’t sit next to me.
Anyways im watching these bus folk get onto my bus im dreading them sitting near me and this is fine, but then what happens? They all walk past me, a couple go upstairs and the rest go to the back. And this is my silent thoughts reaction: oh my god they walked straight past even though the seat next to me is free, what’s wrong with that seat, why don’t they want to sit next to me?? I cant win.
When we are children is that the real us? and then the act that we need to put on around other people becomes who we become, because it’s the personality that’s expected of us and if you move in with a partner who you’ve had to put a front on to impress in the first place you can never truly drop it can you? So we change as we get older but is it changing or are we just perfecting an act that we’ve been practicing for years because we are around more and more people, that’s why people go crazy when left on islands alone their real personality is an act of how they want to be portrayed to others and when alone for a long time then there is no need for a personality and this makes people unstable to the state of insanity.
I like the person I am around people more than the one I am alone, I think most people do so I guess its not a bad thing becoming that person.
Alright last thing I swear, the term straight is used casually to refer to heterosexuals but the opposite of straight is bent which if im not mistaken is quite offensive to use in referring to a homosexual as it implies something is not right and that some thing is broken in some way, but doesn’t using the term straight imply that if you are not straight then you are bent and so should also be slightly offensive? Im not trying to be all p.c I just wondered what peoples thoughts were.
Ok so that’s a slight insight into the insanity that is my mind, more another time maybe...maybe not ?
Ok so the other day I was meant to meet a friend on the Tuesday and I woke up in the morning walked to Battersea park where we were meeting and sat there waiting for a bit, until I looked at my phone and realized that it was in fact Monday, yup that’s right I was a day early.
So what did I do? Well I could have walked home again but I felt like that would be yet another waste of a day so instead stayed in the park and walked around then sat on a bench, It was a nice quiet spot and I thought I should do some thinking to bring the random crap that’s in my head out to think about as I thought it would help, not that I need help, like I know that I think of stuff and then all the crap gets shoved to the back of my head and I get on with life and that’s working fine for me, I guess it makes me a bit numb when it comes to actual emotions but that’s fine for now. But anyways I get the idea in my head that certain things need to be thought about and a kind of solution thought of for some things, and a sort of life plan put in place at least for the next 5 years, as other people have these and it seemed “healthy” at the time.
So there I am, in the park on the bench on my own like some kind of deranged pigeon lady whose pigeons had found something better to do, trying and failing to think of things I know are in my head.
So my brain is this metaphorical cupboard filled to the top with things that have been thrown in over the years to the point that its all jammed in and I cant get them out, so I decide that its fine where it is, I go buy an ice cream and go home.
I know sometimes everyone has strange thoughts but the other day my own thought annoyed me, Im sitting on the bus going somewhere, sitting by the window near the front and the seat next to me is free the bus stops, the doors open, and about 5 people get on and I silently think: please don’t sit next to me.
Anyways im watching these bus folk get onto my bus im dreading them sitting near me and this is fine, but then what happens? They all walk past me, a couple go upstairs and the rest go to the back. And this is my silent thoughts reaction: oh my god they walked straight past even though the seat next to me is free, what’s wrong with that seat, why don’t they want to sit next to me?? I cant win.
When we are children is that the real us? and then the act that we need to put on around other people becomes who we become, because it’s the personality that’s expected of us and if you move in with a partner who you’ve had to put a front on to impress in the first place you can never truly drop it can you? So we change as we get older but is it changing or are we just perfecting an act that we’ve been practicing for years because we are around more and more people, that’s why people go crazy when left on islands alone their real personality is an act of how they want to be portrayed to others and when alone for a long time then there is no need for a personality and this makes people unstable to the state of insanity.
I like the person I am around people more than the one I am alone, I think most people do so I guess its not a bad thing becoming that person.
Alright last thing I swear, the term straight is used casually to refer to heterosexuals but the opposite of straight is bent which if im not mistaken is quite offensive to use in referring to a homosexual as it implies something is not right and that some thing is broken in some way, but doesn’t using the term straight imply that if you are not straight then you are bent and so should also be slightly offensive? Im not trying to be all p.c I just wondered what peoples thoughts were.
Ok so that’s a slight insight into the insanity that is my mind, more another time maybe...maybe not ?
Tuesday 24 March 2009
I will write a better blog soon (TheNews)
After reading a few somewhat inspiring blogs written by a friend, combined with a fear that if I keep my thoughts in my head I might pop I am going to try and write from the top of my head straight onto the keys of my hp laptop but im a tad tired so maybe I will start doing that tomorrow for now there’s this:
OK, so Im watching the news(I watch the news three times a day 1.morning 2.when I get in. 3. Before bed. This is time 3), and its about how the government wants to raise the prices of alcohol and basically make it harder to buy so that there’s less people drinking and using up NHS cash.
I know that my opinion will sound like its from some middle class Tory :( but I don’t care, I think this is ridiculous, if the warnings are in place and people still choose to drink until there kidneys cry tears of cider then that’s up to them, I mean I know that its a problem and people should drink less but if alcohol became really cheap tomorrow I wouldn’t go buy 10 bottles of vodka and down it in one, and if I did then that would be my own fault.
They say they are targeting young people, well im a “young person and if I see alcohol for 99p doesn’t mean Im going to buy it because there is a difference between need and want and that difference is self control!(oh dear I sound so Tory)
It just annoys me how the government treats the public like they cant be trusted, like some goldfish that if you put loads of food in it will just eat its self to death,(Although I would do that if it was something like Pringles)blaming cheap drinks for alcoholism is like blaming quiet trainers for the amount of stalkers going up.
And now for my last point on this, and it may sound rather harsh, Those that buy the alcohol because its cheap then get completed drunk repeatedly, after knowing the warnings, and get some kind of alcohol related illness, Its very sad that it has lead to that but really Its no-ones fault but your own.
And the woman on the news just said: Everything in moderation. (That’s a fucking stupid saying isn’t it? EVERYTHING in moderation, what like crack and prostitution? psssh)
Rant over -x-
OK, so Im watching the news(I watch the news three times a day 1.morning 2.when I get in. 3. Before bed. This is time 3), and its about how the government wants to raise the prices of alcohol and basically make it harder to buy so that there’s less people drinking and using up NHS cash.
I know that my opinion will sound like its from some middle class Tory :( but I don’t care, I think this is ridiculous, if the warnings are in place and people still choose to drink until there kidneys cry tears of cider then that’s up to them, I mean I know that its a problem and people should drink less but if alcohol became really cheap tomorrow I wouldn’t go buy 10 bottles of vodka and down it in one, and if I did then that would be my own fault.
They say they are targeting young people, well im a “young person and if I see alcohol for 99p doesn’t mean Im going to buy it because there is a difference between need and want and that difference is self control!(oh dear I sound so Tory)
It just annoys me how the government treats the public like they cant be trusted, like some goldfish that if you put loads of food in it will just eat its self to death,(Although I would do that if it was something like Pringles)blaming cheap drinks for alcoholism is like blaming quiet trainers for the amount of stalkers going up.
And now for my last point on this, and it may sound rather harsh, Those that buy the alcohol because its cheap then get completed drunk repeatedly, after knowing the warnings, and get some kind of alcohol related illness, Its very sad that it has lead to that but really Its no-ones fault but your own.
And the woman on the news just said: Everything in moderation. (That’s a fucking stupid saying isn’t it? EVERYTHING in moderation, what like crack and prostitution? psssh)
Rant over -x-
Friday 6 March 2009
A day in the life of: someone that writes bad poems.
A day in the life of, someone that writes bad poems.
Eyes closed tightly, the alarm unheard
Motionless as consciousness is deferred
Numbers in neon blue intensely shining
A discordant melody persistently wining
Blurry vision distinguishes number
Permits 5 more minuets of slumber
Reluctantly leaving the quilt cocoon
Seizes outfit and is ready quite soon
stands in bathroom, observes reflection
Tries to fix the imperfections
Gives up on that, go put on shoes
Sit and watch the morning news
Wanting the morning to last
time ticks by unnaturally fast
Leave the warmth, bag on shoulder
Floor harder, air colder
Marching the street
Stop bus, get seat
overweight woman with an unpleasant face
Lowers herself beside me, fills the space
Takes up all of her seat and a quarter of mine
Stay calm find ipod to past the time
Not knowing the bus woman, still I loath her
The bus stops. I squeeze past. its over.
The cold breeze never felt so good
Air now smells like it should
A small saunter, then turning
I attended my place of learning.
How will this day will go, I’ve got a hunch
Lesson.. Break.. Lesson.. Lunch?
Talking to people who have nothing to say
Unimpressive conversation full of teen clichés
Encircled by people, still I text friend
Last lesson over, the days at an end
Walk out of the college and then
I’m on the bus yet again.
Get home, get bored
write poetry, it makes me reassured
but don’t try to find any connotations,
amongst the abysmal punctuation
Because It has no underlying theme,
Like the monotonous rhyming scheme
isn’t a refection of the times,
I just like to rhyme in lines
Its as well formed as Larson
In and out of third person,
this poem is awful, what can I say?
dire in every way,
just a commentary of the day.
-The end-
Eyes closed tightly, the alarm unheard
Motionless as consciousness is deferred
Numbers in neon blue intensely shining
A discordant melody persistently wining
Blurry vision distinguishes number
Permits 5 more minuets of slumber
Reluctantly leaving the quilt cocoon
Seizes outfit and is ready quite soon
stands in bathroom, observes reflection
Tries to fix the imperfections
Gives up on that, go put on shoes
Sit and watch the morning news
Wanting the morning to last
time ticks by unnaturally fast
Leave the warmth, bag on shoulder
Floor harder, air colder
Marching the street
Stop bus, get seat
overweight woman with an unpleasant face
Lowers herself beside me, fills the space
Takes up all of her seat and a quarter of mine
Stay calm find ipod to past the time
Not knowing the bus woman, still I loath her
The bus stops. I squeeze past. its over.
The cold breeze never felt so good
Air now smells like it should
A small saunter, then turning
I attended my place of learning.
How will this day will go, I’ve got a hunch
Lesson.. Break.. Lesson.. Lunch?
Talking to people who have nothing to say
Unimpressive conversation full of teen clichés
Encircled by people, still I text friend
Last lesson over, the days at an end
Walk out of the college and then
I’m on the bus yet again.
Get home, get bored
write poetry, it makes me reassured
but don’t try to find any connotations,
amongst the abysmal punctuation
Because It has no underlying theme,
Like the monotonous rhyming scheme
isn’t a refection of the times,
I just like to rhyme in lines
Its as well formed as Larson
In and out of third person,
this poem is awful, what can I say?
dire in every way,
just a commentary of the day.
-The end-
Sunday 8 February 2009
Stealing from a thief isn’t stealing its irony.
I took this from Channers, who im guessing took it from some place else, so its all good. (aka the title)
1. What is your favourite memory from the past? When I went to cornwall with Harriett and climbed up a cliff over looking the sea where we found an in-dent in the cliff face with two flat slabs of rock, we laid down on one each and fell asleep, It was the most calm Ive ever been and although ive always thought money was very important I remember thinking, "This is so simple, and yet im happy" (im not sure if quoting what I thought is really correct but never mind).
(also im aware that this happness would have stopped when the sun went down and i got cold/hungry)
2. What event or person has had the biggest effect on your life? My Father, ADT, Harriett, Richard Dawkins.
3. What are you most proud of in your life? who Im trying to be.
4. Has anything tragic happened to you recently? Um, my cat is dying, and ive lost my photography folder that has all my coursework in thats due in monday, but tragic?No. its all
comparative isnt it?
. If yes, how are you coping? by filling in pointless questionnaires on blogger to make my mind think its doing something because I feel guilty when doing nothing so I read or write because then I feel “busy” but really I should be doing college work but the pressure that I may fail causes me sub-consciously to wonder to blogger or a book, and although I know I have now made it conscious I shall stay anyway. :)
6. Who was your role model growing up?
Mark Speight (smart/r.i.p) + Rolf Harris (animal hospital)
7. What is your least favourite food?
Meat?
.8. Do you believe you have accomplished all you want to in life? yup, just gotta sign on and ave me some babies. :/ .... NO! ive not started living, im just preparing.
.9. Who are you most proud of at the moment? Vuki, for driving a car lol! and eveyone that did what I couldnt and stayed on at AtA.
10. has anything anyone said saved your life? Yes.
1. What is your favourite memory from the past? When I went to cornwall with Harriett and climbed up a cliff over looking the sea where we found an in-dent in the cliff face with two flat slabs of rock, we laid down on one each and fell asleep, It was the most calm Ive ever been and although ive always thought money was very important I remember thinking, "This is so simple, and yet im happy" (im not sure if quoting what I thought is really correct but never mind).
(also im aware that this happness would have stopped when the sun went down and i got cold/hungry)
2. What event or person has had the biggest effect on your life? My Father, ADT, Harriett, Richard Dawkins.
3. What are you most proud of in your life? who Im trying to be.
4. Has anything tragic happened to you recently? Um, my cat is dying, and ive lost my photography folder that has all my coursework in thats due in monday, but tragic?No. its all
comparative isnt it?
. If yes, how are you coping? by filling in pointless questionnaires on blogger to make my mind think its doing something because I feel guilty when doing nothing so I read or write because then I feel “busy” but really I should be doing college work but the pressure that I may fail causes me sub-consciously to wonder to blogger or a book, and although I know I have now made it conscious I shall stay anyway. :)
6. Who was your role model growing up?
Mark Speight (smart/r.i.p) + Rolf Harris (animal hospital)
7. What is your least favourite food?
Meat?
.8. Do you believe you have accomplished all you want to in life? yup, just gotta sign on and ave me some babies. :/ .... NO! ive not started living, im just preparing.
.9. Who are you most proud of at the moment? Vuki, for driving a car lol! and eveyone that did what I couldnt and stayed on at AtA.
10. has anything anyone said saved your life? Yes.
11. What one thing would you like your kids to know about your life at the moment? Pass.
.12. If you were to die tomorrow would you like to be buried or cremated?
I want by body to be donated to medical science so the german guy who looks like freddie can have a look inside ..Mwhhahaha. :)
.13. If you had to say sorry to someone who would it be and what for?
my future self - for not trying harder.
.14. Are you addicted to anything? Coffee.
15. How many children would you like to have? cross that bridge when/if we come to it.
.16. What religion are you? None (not Nun, NONE lol) there is no god, im 99.9% sure.
.17. What was your favourite cartoon when you were young? Arthur and power rangers, but I didnt really like cartoons its all about the queens nose/bernerds watch.
18. Are you a slob or clean freak? both, at different times.
19. Are you in love? If not, do you want to find someone perfect? No I am not, and on my thoughts on there being someone "perfect" for me see Tim minchin- if I didnt have you (use youtube dumbass)
.20. What is the most valuable life lesson you have learnt so far? What people say isnt always true, even if they belive it.
and many things are subjective but some things are just wrong.
Tuesday 20 January 2009
yes you can.
I am writing this whilst watching history being made American history maybe but history never the less, this will be in our children’s history books just like martin Luther king was in ours, I am talking of course of the inauguration of Obama the first African-American president.
He symbolise change, was always against the war in Iraq, and well.. seams like a nice guy so congratulations America.
Barack will now move into the white house that was built 200 years ago by afro-Caribbean slaves, just makes it more meaningful doesn’t it?
There is concentration on his father because he is African, but lets not forget the person that actually brought him up, his mother Stanley Ann Dunham (yes Stanley, she was given her fathers name) who is of English-Irish descent! and who’s best friend in high school, said: "She touted herself as an Atheist, it was something she'd read about and could argue. She was always challenging and arguing and comparing. She was already thinking about things that the rest of us hadn't”. (thanks wikipedia)
See, how cool was his mum? Lol
Ok enough politics, I haven’t written any blogs as I haven’t had anything to write about, basically my life is boring!
so an update of today?:
Why its a good day?
I had to show 7 Chinese students around my college, I was talking to their guard Mr.Wong (I didn’t just make that up that’s how he introduced himself) he’s 23 and goes to university here, the students old school day was from 9am - 8pm (8PM!!!) I tried to talk to them but their English wasn’t that good they’re really sweet though lol, but any way that was my slight break in the monotony of life for today.
Why its a bad day?
I miss my intellectual friends, if I meet one more person at my college that doesn’t know who the prime Minster is. I might just die.
Well that’s about it, I will try and write more blogs more often, and I leave you with my own view on a much talked about subject.
Love is subjective
He symbolise change, was always against the war in Iraq, and well.. seams like a nice guy so congratulations America.
Barack will now move into the white house that was built 200 years ago by afro-Caribbean slaves, just makes it more meaningful doesn’t it?
There is concentration on his father because he is African, but lets not forget the person that actually brought him up, his mother Stanley Ann Dunham (yes Stanley, she was given her fathers name) who is of English-Irish descent! and who’s best friend in high school, said: "She touted herself as an Atheist, it was something she'd read about and could argue. She was always challenging and arguing and comparing. She was already thinking about things that the rest of us hadn't”. (thanks wikipedia)
See, how cool was his mum? Lol
Ok enough politics, I haven’t written any blogs as I haven’t had anything to write about, basically my life is boring!
so an update of today?:
Why its a good day?
I had to show 7 Chinese students around my college, I was talking to their guard Mr.Wong (I didn’t just make that up that’s how he introduced himself) he’s 23 and goes to university here, the students old school day was from 9am - 8pm (8PM!!!) I tried to talk to them but their English wasn’t that good they’re really sweet though lol, but any way that was my slight break in the monotony of life for today.
Why its a bad day?
I miss my intellectual friends, if I meet one more person at my college that doesn’t know who the prime Minster is. I might just die.
Well that’s about it, I will try and write more blogs more often, and I leave you with my own view on a much talked about subject.
Love is subjective
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